Friday, October 03, 2008

A Grief Observed

by C. S. Lewis
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear... At other times like being drunk or concussed. there is sort of an invisible blanket between me and the world. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting... no one told me about the laziness of grief... I loathe the slightest effort. Not only writing, but even reading is too much. Even shaving... what does it matter how I look...
Meanwhile where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms... when you are happy... you feel welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate... what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and the sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside... after that, silence.
Is God a clown who whips away your bowl of soup one moment to replace it with another the next?


  1. Anonymous3:51 PM

    Well said Ray. Praying for you. Emily.

  2. Thinking about you and Martha. Your family continues to be in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Kyle

  3. Thanks, Kyle.
    We plan to have dinner with Dr O'Reilley next week. If it works for you, we'd like to meet you again. My US cell phone should work again when we cross the border. 352-235-4688

  4. Anonymous4:24 AM

    we were in New York Tuesday. We met with Dr O'Reilley, pastor James Leonard, and Jane Mather. We ate at Renee's favorite restaurant, Vermecelli, and had her favorite pho. We spent time at Central Park and had supper at the boathouse restaurant, before heading off to Philadelphia. We could not find your phone number. We are sorry we missed you.