Sunday, December 27, 2009

The War of the Worlds

We are back home at Eastview - just a bit late for the service.

Dave Ens:
Grover's Mill New Jersey was the town where the Martians landed in the War of The Worlds
The people of the town shot at the water tower thinking that it was the invader during the performance of the War of The Worlds.
When we expect to encounter something, we often WILL encounter what we expected to encounter.

Do we actually believe that our encounter with God will change anything this Christmas?

An African village had polluted water and the children were dying. The visiting western church leaders promised clean water. The chief was not impressed because others had promised the same thing and had not delivered.

Do we have hope that things can be made new? Can we see what God has done?

There is now a new kingdom. Mk 1:15

God has broken into the scene and things are very different now. We can now repent and believe. Have faith. Take the next step. Follow what you believe.

Jesus loves you- but sometimes we believe with a clenched fist. Not sure what abundant life is all about.

Luke 4:16-19 to let the oppressed go free -not just nice- We need to expect this to happen. And act on it.

Matth 25:35-40 when did we take care of Jesus? Do we put what we believe into action?

Resolution Season is coming. I am resolved to do better. Can we take that through February?

God has given us new life. Things can actually change -what if we resolve to follow God with open hands and try less. Fall into God's love. That will change our outlook.

If we expect to see newness in expectancy with God we will see changes. Give more of ourselves. We all have opportunity to fall into the love of God.

Unclench your fists this year. See God's newness and let Him change our world.

Focus on God's pursuing love. Drink of his love for you. God brought you here to say "I love you".

Peace to you

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Christmas in Barbados

We had as good a vacation as you can get when one of your beloved children is missing. Martha had a beautiful dream where Renee came in a beautiful blue gown and wept, telling her mom she did not want to leave and she missed us so much. Martha told her how much we missed her and then Renee floated away smiling and waving. Later Renee floated in to sit with Martha.

Click on the picture below to see the rest of our pictures

2009-12-21Barbados


2009-12-26Barbados

Monday, December 21, 2009

1st View of Barbodos

We have never been here before. This is a coral limestone island that got pushed up out of the sea after Noah's flood. They say it is the friendliest Caribean Island. It is British and they drive on the wrong side of the street. The Concorde used to fly here on a regular schedule and there is a museum here with real Concorde on display. Hope to see it before we leave.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I Wonder What Christmas in Heaven is Like

Renee - we miss you so much - we miss you in Barbados - this trip would be so much more fun for us if you were here - thanks to our friends the YOHOs for this link

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Smoke And Mirrors

If you talk brilliantly enough about a problem, it can create the consoling illusion that it has been mastered. Stanley Kubrick

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. George Bernard Shaw

From the Toronto Star during the 5-1/2 hrs to Barbados.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

We are in the air

All 5 of us -on our way to Barbados
Stop in Toronto for Christmas with Tomoko and Aunt Esther

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa

Christmas came early this year - we are off to Barbados for a week. See what that's like. Can we get some serious R&R?
From 2009-12-13GramGramp

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Obedience - Joseph and Mary

Matt 1 Luke 1
Tim Reimer Morweena

The Cast-
OT Prophets John Shepherds Herod Joseph Mary etc
What did they say do?

Joseph & Mary's story is shockingly simple. Nearly invisible. This simplicity is intentional.

Joseph & Mary's Qualifications
Righteous Obedient
Matth 1 God with us
Joseph righteous & sensitive to Mary and public opinion. Wanted the least offensive option. Joseph was painfully disappointed. God told him to proceed, he listens, obeys. And has depth of character to follow divine leadership. He was tuned into God's voice. Not swayed by public opinion.

Luke 1: 26-56
In the 6th month - do not be afraid Mary.

Mary's Qualifications
Conceive & give birth to the son of the most high. How? The Holy Spirit. Let it be!
She is role model of obedience "I am the Lord's servant."

Three issues
Fear Peers Personal Issues

Pray
In those times when you speak to me l will obey. That's my final answer
Amen

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Test blog with new ID

Relaxing Sunday

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Christmas Advent

What is the Christmas spirit?
Do we let the trappings of Christmas distract us from the significant.
2,000 years ago this event changed everything.
There now is good news for all people.
This Christmas we start a conspiracy
What is an appropriate way to celebrate Christmas? So many of us miss it- just don't get it
Simeon Luke 2:22-32
He got it!
The Consolation of Israel Jeremiah 31:8,9 God will lead the exiles down the path to God.
There were lots of people at the temple. How did Simeon know Jesus? The Holy Spirit nudged him. When he held Jesus, he worshipped. That is the only proper response.
How should we respond? WORSHIP. The song "Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel" drips with hope. Rejoice Rejoice disperse the gloomy clouds - death's shadows put to flight.
There are 2 ways of waiting
1. Flip through the channels hoping there will be a good program
2. Waiting for the bus. Life changing events
In Christmas we find the order and clean up the mess
Peace
Do we get so busy organizing we don't have time for peace and worship?
Maybe that's why the angels came to the shepherds. They were at peace with themselves. They recognized Jesus was bigger - They worshipped. The God who saves.
Our God Saves
In the name of the Father, Son, and Spirit, Lord we come
Your saints bow down. Our God saves. There is hope in your name.
This is great news for all people. God came to break our bonds.
Last Christmas Canadians spend 35 billion dollars for sweaters and paper weights no one needs. What if we spent that in helping others, feeding the hungry.
Eastview Christmas events.
Dec 13 7pm choir program
Dec 24 3:30 5:00, 6:30 pm with donations to go to Forward House prison ministry Christian home.

Challenge- give generously. Be part of that work. They need $24,000 to keep operating
The 1st Christmas changed everything and still should. For us and our society.
Come Thou Long Expected Jesus.
O to grace how great a debtor
Here's my heart Lord come and seal it for you.
Shalom

Who Is JESUS?

One of the best sermons I have ever heard. Click on the title above to listen to the sermon.
Who is Jesus?
Dr. Timothy Keller
Sunday, May 1, 1994

How do we know that Christianity is true? There are two tests of any valid worldview - that it is intellectually credible and existentially satisfying. The main evidence for the truth of Christianity is Jesus Christ himself. If we look at the magnitude of Jesus' claims and the evidence of his life, we are led to the conclusion that Jesus is who he says he is.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

The Huckleberry Jade River Rock

Finally we got the picture of the Memorial Rock for Renee's grave. Now we have to finalize what we say on the memorial. And agreement among a group of family members with different ideas can be tough. I'm sure it will all work our some day.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Football Canadian Grey Cup

Two years ago, I could not get the Grey Cup on TV at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York. I used Renee's apple laptop to try to find it online. The only place I could find it was on CJOB Online Radi. Martha and Renee were in the room at the hospital, but neither one was interested in football, so they watched some lame TV show, while I hugged the apple in my corner.

Since we still don't have cable at our house, I went to Dan's to watch the game on TSN to cheer the Saskatchewan Rough Riders. Martha went to Loni's for a stuff party. Kara is busy studying at home.

What happened? Saskatchewan led the scoring all the way but ended up with one too many men (unlucky 13) on the field, a penalty, and Montreal won by one point in the very last second. Bummer. Shucks! Someone forgot to count and they lost the game. 17-3 become 27-28 for Montreal! Let's go egg somebody's house in Saskatchewan!

Family Makeover

Enduring the Unbearable
Pastor Del- Eastview
2 Sam 18-19
Some problems must be endured until God steps in.
Learn Love & Foster family relationships.
God knows and cares. His wisdom will guide you.
David's family had problems. He had an affair and his life became a tragedy. By law he should have been stoned.
Absalom undermined his father and ultimately aimed to kill the king.
The army general Joab made a point to ignore the king's command and killed Absalom. All the king wanted, was his son back. In light of the unbearable he wanted his family restored as it was before.
When his son died he was devastated. Unbearable pain. Precious son - gone. David was done. Beat.
Where is my family? David was crushed with unending grief. Joab spoke truth.
Truth teller said:
1. Face the truth. Trust
2. Reject self pity. Face the facts and move forward. Don't keep hitting yourself
3. Affirm those closest to you. Get out of the self pity mode and love those who love you.

Why wait till the bottom falls out? Adjust your schedule today. Be with the ones closest to you. Go out to them.
There may be unbearable moments in your family. Don't give up. You can not rewind the tape.
Do what you Car today. Pass on a rich relationship legacy Bless your family today.
Numbers 6.24-26
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord smile or you and be gracious to you. May God give you shalom peace.
It is God's blessing to you.
Pray this every day.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Issues in Prayer

Why doesn't God always answer our prayers?
Dr Pierre Gilbert CMU
1. Futile prayer?
2. The Lord's Prayer
3. Beware what you pray for. You might get it. Habbakuk

We tend to pray when things get tough. There are no atheists in the trenches.
We expect instant answers. Reckless faith? Not seek medical care?
Do you pray regularly?
Why? What or whom to? Does God answer your prayer? What is appropriate? Why doesn't God always answer our prayers?

Prayer of relinquishment by Catherine Marshall
Prayer of relinquishment gave joy and health.

God takes us even if He is our last choice. He is humble.
talk to God thank him praise him focus on the future.

Lots of prayer is selfish. Live one day at a time. Still we don't get the answer, the healing.

''The Problem of Prayer"
If God is all powerful and good, no legitimate prayer should ever go unanswered. Either he is not powerful or he doesn't care

What is prayer? Do we have a biblically adequate understanding of prayer?
Develop, articulate a Christian worldview.
Precedent: the Creation Story.
Israelites were pagan. They built an idol and engaged in sexual orgies. The Creation Story helped them change the culture.

Biblical worldview:
Understand the system:

God is good and all powerful.
The world is a tough place.
Make sure you work off biblical data - not experience
Beware of the empirical theologian /Christian.
Paul Hiebert encouraged writing the book

The Power of the Shaman vs. The Power of Jesus.
Often Jesus is presented as an alternative power.
Mother Theresa vs. Hitler
If you pushed them off the Empire State Building at the same time they would die at approximately the same time. The law of nature doesn't care. If that is your God he is evil.

God tested Abraham. Game of chicken. God blinked first. He lost the game of chicken.

Faith is acting on what we know to be true. Engineers build bridges on that basis.
God is good. That is our basis of faith.
The dentist might hurt us but we go back because we trust that he is good and competent.
We have the hope that in the end, things will turn out to be good. What would we pray for in heaven?

Is our life better because we are Christians? The 30 second prayer changed my life. Avoided so many problems. Diminished fear. We have mercy, grace and love in abundance. Emmanuel El Sharif became a Christian after his friend got killed. In Islam there is only law. No grace.

No hatred in Christ. Love and faith. God is not just mighty God, he is also a counselor. Muslims get a Vision of Christ. If they follow Christ they know they can be killed. But they know God is all powerful and good.

Our Father in heaven. "Our" part of community.
"father" abba. Dad family
"heaven" kingdom
"Hallowed" God's status

Context- Matthew is a discipleship book
The Sermon on the Mount is a re-calibration.
Series of 3 statements - hypocrites.

What is the most important?
Don't become obsessed consumed by the necessities of life.

Word structure, every line starts with an imperative verb. Hallowed, let it come, our daily bread give us, forgive us,
As family members we can come to him in full confidence.
The order has been changed for the daily bread line. A device to draw special attention to that element of prayer. We need the context. Immediate. Less emphasis on daily physical needs. Because God is good and powerful.
Our kids are not concerned about us providing their daily needs. Mention it to God and move on.
There are more important things in life. Space for relationships Matth. 6:25-34 explains it further.

How NOT to pray.
Not like hypocrites. Fakes. Say one thing and do another. Al Gore should move into a small house. Hypocrites are insecure? terrible?
Let God transform us. Scripture has a shotgun approach. Does the definition apply to us or just to others?
Jesus called people hypocrites to wake them up. He said what was true.
The Gospel of John video is good. Jesus said things only GOD could say.

Jesus is either a liar, lunatic, or who he said he was. God. There is no other choice.

We all have our fault lines. They are not all the same. We tend to be hypocrites with our own fault lines. Blind. Like David was with Bethsheba. But we are critical of others. Only God can fix our fault lines.

What is a hypocrite?
Hypocrite: actor to simulate or pretend.
New Testament usage is broader: hypocrites make a big production.
Care mostly about themselves. Not other people. Charity without love destroys others
It's all about image.
Judgmental
Vortex of self-destruction and evangelists of death
Major in minors
Denounce sins of the past. Ignore issues of the day
Soft on themselves hard on others.

Don't babble like pagans with meaningless words and vain repetitions or magic
If we trust Got we don't have to keep asking Him over and over. God doesn't want me to bore him.
Prayer must be soaked in relationship and reason.
-tenderness.

How we ought to pray- privately- as per priorities set in the Lord's prayer.
Start with God
Passionate about God's kingdom
Relationships.

Life is 80% maintenance here but not in our future life.

God hears every one of our prayers. Cut out the repetitions. But God loves you anyway.
Luke 11:13 keep building the kingdom.
God is not a coke machine. He is our father. A person. Relationship. Conversation
Prayer is about purpose and strategy.
Prayer is a win-win situation.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Compassionate Friends 25th Annual Candlelight Service

We Come together tonight in Memory of our precious children whose lights burnt so brightly yet so briefly. These children are forever a part of our lives.
We have come together again to express our love for them, and to celebrate our memories of them.
Again we light their special candles and we say their beloved names, Kris, Jason, Renee.
Our children
Remembered like a touching of the wind, in the smiles of other children, alive in silence and in absence, present.

I will remember you, will you remember me?
let not your life pass you by. Weep not for the memories

It breaks my heart in two to say goodbye to you.

As we light this candle representing grief, we symbolize our pain and sorrow and we acknowledge that our children have died and we must grieve.

With hope we light this candle knowing life and love are eternal and death is only a horizon. That horizon is only the limit of our sight. It is our fondest hope, that love will bring peace to each of us this Christmas.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Memorial Candlelight Service

Compassionate Friends Memorial Candlelight Service is tomorrow Nov 20 at Ft Garry United Church, 800 Point Rd Winnipeg
Please join us at 7:30PM for a therapeutic evening of remembrance. All friends and family welcome.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

McGregor Choir

They were in Carmen this evening. We met Henry and Martha there. Martha and her sister Irene sang in the choir. Good music and fun fellowship.

Mike Duffy

He sure is a good speaker and an Advocate for Common sense. See
www.conservative.ca

You look just like..

Dave Ens www.eastview.org
Created in whose Image?
Football basketball volley ball?
Train up a child in the way God wants him to go? Leaving a legacy - is it about my legacy or God's legacy? What is God's desire? Gen 12:2-3 to be a blessing. To an extended family.
Alexander prayed: "God help this food to be good"
We sometimes forget to just say thank you God!

We exist to reflect God's image. As a family we need to do more for others.
Rom 12:1-2
Present yourselves... together
Start early to establish caring for others. Parents need to create intentional habits helping others being generous. Deliberately. Connect faith and life. Do it together. Your belief in generosity will be strengthened.

Eastview Community Church Christmas Calendar

Nov 28 Steve Bell Concert
Dec 3,4,5 6:30 Christmas Theatre and Dessert "All I wanted for Christmas"
Dec 13 7:00 pm Choir Christmas Concert
Dec 24 3:30, 5:00, & 6.30, PM Christmas Eve Services
Dec 31 Baptism & Membership celebration

Hope to see you there.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Vision and Leadership

Vision without action is only a dream
Action without vision is a waste of time
Vision and action will change the world.

Joy Smith MP Celebration on the passing of the Human trafficking law.
When it comes to honesty integrity leadership Joy Smith is it. www.JoySmith.com

We believe the Canadian government should take the leadership to stop slavery. Joy educated us on the horrors of child trafficking. Persistency has paid off. Joy's bill has passed parliament.

Ron Schuller MLA got elected in 1999 and worked together with Joy. Mother of 6 children. Best selling author.

Joy Smith is a woman that has earned respect around the world. With courage.

Senator Mike Duffy is here:
He had trouble with Air Canada
Found out how hard it is to affect change. We have a champion Member of Parliament. Remarkable
Passionate about justice. Human trafficking.
The Conservative Members are the best.
Sir John A MacDonold and all major changes in Canada were done by Conservatives. Loyal courageous Canadians. GST. Free Trade. Conservatives are the trail blazers. Stop being so quiet. Tell the stories.
We believe in honesty fairness. Tough on crime vs. hug-a-thug. www.Conservative.ca We are on your side giving you the tools to help you build a better Canada

On the elevator met Mr Microsoft. The Liberals paid $2,000,000,000 to a Quebec company for the long gun registry. Microsoft says you can't spend that much money.
The Liberals wasted billions more on all kinds of other crooked deals.

Stephen Harper is the real deal. Absolutely honest. He can be hilarious.
He takes the high road.
Canada's team standing for you for Canadian values. Canada's party. We trust the people.

We can't rest on our laurels.

A Conservative MP drove by the zoo and saw a lion dragging a child into the cage. He jumped into the cage, beat the lion off,
rescued the child and gave him back to the grateful parents. A reporter saw the whole thing and told the MP he'd be on the front page in the morning.
When the MP got the paper the headline read: Harper's stooge attacks poor African, steals his lunch and gives it to the rich folks.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Meritt Loves the Honey Tree

At the Honey Tree

With my honey at the Winnie-the-pooh honey tree

Cultivating a Heart Of Gratitude

Calvary Baptist Church
Sioux Lookout
Luke 17:11-19
Were not 10 cleansed? Where are the hearts of gratitude?
Remember God's deliverance in the past. Isreal had several festivals of thanks each year. But they forgot and became disobedient
They became satisfied with life became proud and forgot to be thankful. Forgetfulness always leads to ingratitude.
Remember God's benefits in the present. That's where we live. What do you have that you did not receive? 1 Cor 4:7
We tend to feel: Presumption Resentment Bitterness Jealousy Dissatisfaction
Rejoice always, give thanks- this is God's will
Have a gratitude attitude When your feet hit the floor thank God. Practice the presence of Christ all day. Remember God's provisions and say Grace all day
Remember God's promises for the future. And God's riches in the ages to come Eph 2:7
Make it a daily exercise to review God's benefits in the Past Present, and future.
As we learn the secret of gratitude we will be less driven less hurried and more alive
Do you want to go thru the motions or be conformed to the image of Christ? Your choice.

Matthew West musical video: "Do you want to just go thru the motions?"

Don't be a wuss. Follow Christ.

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The View from Arden and Twylla's House

They found a very unique and beautiful home on the lake in Sioux Lookout, ON

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Morweena All Saints Day

Tim Reimer
Saints and Mennonite does not google very well.

Is there anything Christian about churches, streets, and towns named after saints? Does it matter? Do we care? Does it help?

Eph 1:1 all Christians are saints. Later some were identified as saints if they were super spiritual. The average Christian was not expected to be holy.
Saints are expected to perform miracles after they died.

A saint is a follower of Christ. An even playing field. Like Steinbach. Every one has their own church.

Is it more biblical to call other Christians brother or sister or saint?

Eph6:2 Rom 12:10 1Tim12:1,3,17 double honor.
Num 12:1-11 sin to speak against God's Anointed.
1Cor2:4-5 Reflect God not Men's wisdom. Acts3:6-4:21 Peter John heal the cripple. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. People were saved and praising God. Focus on the Power and Grace of God. We should not build our own reputation.

What do we do to recognise the leaders among us?
Heb11 Who or what is honorable? Noah Abraham gave up their own dreams and followed God. Earth is not home.
Moses gave up his cushy connections.
Samson, David Gideon were honored even though they did not follow God faithfully
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus.
Is it a good idea to name public places after people? There is some Mennonite resistance to that.

Home work. Tell someone the story of a saint in your life.

Renee Dueck Memorial Building

Friday was the sod turning ceremony with Stephen Fletcher MP at CMU
The facility will open next summer.
Hopefully Renee will continue to impact her generation to challenge the church into missions and impact the world thru the arts.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Kara's Youngest Cousin

Kara's cousins, Makayla and Kim the youngest and oldest cousin are 30? years apart. It's exiting to have a new niece!
She lives in Ottawa and this is the 1st time many of us have seen her. Congratulations to Shirley and Dave.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Mission Impossible

Football
Dave Ens Eastview
Wife gave a nice football early in marriage
She doesn't like football. So the ball sits on the shelf - useless. It is waiting to be played with.
We all have useless stuff in our lives - when are we going to start doing something?
God's Grace. A grace filled community is a blessing to others. The gifts you have been given are intended to build others up.
We all have a football sitting around. We have to decide to play with it. Your gifts are an expression of God.
Impossible becomes possible. Phillippi has become a complete ruin. In Paul's time Phillippi (Little Rome) was the retirement center for the faithful. Ceasar called himself the son of God - so Paul waded into an impossible situation. Acts 16:9-11 Paul called to Macedonia
v11-15 Paul found some women worshipping at the river. No men. He preached anyway and a church was born.
v16- Paul ordered evil spirit out of a girl. We often complain but never do anything about it. Our heart might burn about something but we ignore it. Maybe that is God calling you to step into a situation. You may get banged up but the joy of playing the game is your reward.
Paul & Silas were beat up and jailed. We are often too afraid and so we are pain free and joy free. Doing nothing.
v33- the jailer became a Christian after God sent the earthquake. Paul did not run away. He stayed to see what God would do. You can tell when someone gives all that they can do.
Your gifts are real and make a difference.
What are you going to do with your gift?
Lord here I am. Use me as you would for your honor and glory.
Do you dare to pray that prayer?

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Proposed Memorial

Any feedback? This would be engraved on a BC HuckleBerry Jade river rock one side polished boulder.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

inukshuk

this is at the Mariash Quarry in Stony Mountain. we picked the stones and assembled it there

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Pictures from Adrian

See the gypsy kids enjoying our attentions in Thessaloníki Greece. Click HERE

Kris died 32 years ago today

Two week before Kris died he was in the hospital for one of his many admissions. He was much better after a week so we wanted to take him home. The doctor in charge got mad at us for suggesting he was ready to go home and threatened never to see him again if we discharged him ourselves, so we didn't. The next day we were not able to come visit Kris in the hospital. The following day, when we came to see him, we checked his chart and were shocked that he had been given 10x the normal IV fluid. When we asked why - "that's what the doctor ordered".

A few days later he was transferred to to ICU due to interstitial lung fluids and congestive heart failure. When I checked his master file in the ICU, the chart from that fateful day was missing. Evidence removed. No proof of malfeasance.

The night before he died his mom and I were encouraged to go to the hotel to get some rest. At 4:30 we got the call to come to the hospital and by 6:30 he was gone. Later that doctor met Martha and quite cheerfully told her that she had heard we had a tough morning.

When we had our lawyer check into it, we got a long report that said that he died because of his underlying condition and there was no malpractice. That doctor continued to work at that hospital for 30 more years and killed a whole lot more kids. Retired with honour.

Kris, our firstborn, lived for 3 years and 3 months.

Dr O'Reilley was doing successful transplants in New York at the time, but we did not find out about that for another 8 years. When we kept asking the Winnipeg doctors for referral elsewhere, we were told that Kris was getting the best treatment in the world.

We weep.

Letter to Renee

November 21, 2008
Dear Renee:
I miss you so terribly much.
I don't know where to start.
When you were born you were a true bundle of joy. Never did we dream that you would not live to old age. Your initial transplant to correct your SCID condition was routine, with no real worries about your future health. After all, Dr O'Reilley and his team knew what they were doing. They had done it before.
You grew up to be a wonderfully cheerful young lady with tons of ambition and energy. Your Mission Statement was: To mobilize people into missions and to proclaim the Truth through the Arts.
You did that with enthusiasm. YWAM to Asia, leading a mission to Athens and Jordan, and becoming part of The Wave USA....
That got interrupted 1/2 way through the trip, in June 05. You were diagnosed with AML while in Cleveland. That took you to NYC for a successful round of treatment. Then CMU and Cap College. Work in the industry.
Till you got HIT by a relapse. You said "There is nothing more to write" on Oct 26, 07. You said in your last video, "I can't bear to hear a bad diagnoses." You cried.
You wanted to stay in Vancouver. To die there, among your friends. But the doctors all agreed that you should go to NYC again. You'd have a chance there. You cried.
You started chemo the day after you got to the hospital. The doctors talked about all kinds of new and wonderful treatments. After the 1st round, it took 40 days in the hospital, before your counts were high enough to go home. By that time you had developed a lung infection. Treatment did not clear it up, so they decided you needed surgery to remove the infection. By that time the leukemia was showing signs of returning.
2 weeks after the surgery, chemo started again. Dr Steinherz was so sad when he gave you that protocol. You cried and refused to go on Saturday. It was too hard for you. We pontificated until you gave in and dragged yourself to the hospital for some more of that dreadful chemo.
The plan was, that to help you recover after chemo, mom would donate cells that would boost your immune system.
This is where writing gets really painful.
Your mom and I were exhausted from the stress of your illness, compounded for all of us, by the devastating pain of our business partners voting us out of our partnership at a time when we were most in need of support. The pain of rejection and betrayal was almost unbearable.
I took too much time to respond to the pressures that resulted from that. Lynn had arrived Monday, to keep you company. Justin came Friday.
You went to the day hospital every day for more chemo, and we spent very little time with you at the hospital. One day I sat with you for an hour, and you showed me the protocol sheets from Dr Steinherz. I said, "that looks scary". We talked about the chemo and mom donating cells. I said I hoped that mom's cells would cure you permanently, and that you would not have to go through total body radiation, for that unrelated perfect match transplant. Your prognosis was grim but hopeful.
We had been told many times, that it is the parent's job to be there for their kids. We had been told to be there for you, to be your advocate, and when you needed me the most, I was not there to be you advocate. I was too distracted. How can I ever get over the regret of that?I so distinctly remember that Thursday morning. I was not able to sleep, so I got up and worked on the computer, doing emails related to the forced buy/sell. You knew you had to be at the day hospital at 10am for more of that dangerous chemo, and when you was ready to go, you asked if anyone was coming with you. I was not ready, nor was anyone else, so you went alone. I can still feel your pleading eyes on me, begging me to be there for you. I had not had a shower yet. But what did that matter. I wish I had gone with you.
I should have been the one to make sure the doctors knew you were having so much pain, diarrhea and vomiting. To make sure you got all the tests you needed. To elevate the level of care sooner. I knew you needed more care.
I keep kicking myself.You had told us that the doctor wanted to do a scan to see why you was in so much pain. Without me at you side, you had no advocate to make sure that that scan happened. So the scan never happened. By then you had been having anxiety attacks. You could not sleep without drugs. It was not till Monday afternoon that they took you down for x-rays. It took a long time for them to do the x-rays, and you were in a great deal of pain. I could see it in your eyes. You NEVER EVER complained.
Your mom was donating her stem cells at the same time, so I went down with you. It took a long time for them to bring you out of the x-ray room. So I went to see how your mom was doing. When I came back, you were still not out of x-ray. Eventually, they brought you out. Then we had to wait for transport to take you back to your room. I had to find more blankets to keep you warm.
You began hallucinating. You told Justin that Justin and I should go to Tio Pepe's Restaurante Mexicano - just a few blocks away in the Drive.
When you got back to your room, you were tired and wanted to sleep. When I checked you a while later, your skin was all flushed red. By the time mom came it was seriously red. She called the nurses. In the meantime, someone had decided you needed a scan. That meant you had to drink this litre of liquid dye. You started to drink it, but had a tough time with it. In the meantime, they discontinued your chemo 30 minutes ahead of schedule. Then they stopped you drinking your dye, because your condition was way too serious to think about a scan. You were in respiratory distress. Now you were not allowed to drink anything. You were so thirsty. The doctor allowed you to suck on a piece of ice that I gave you, "but don't swallow".
In the meantime they put you on 100% oxygen, but your blood gases continued to deteriorate. They brought in a a ventilator that pressurized inhalations. "Like Merrit had", you said. That felt like you couldn't breathe and you kept pulling the mask off. Finally they brought the big guns with a big red cart and a mechanical Ventilator. They asked your mom and I to leave the room. I said, "I love you", and you said "I love you too". Then they put you to sleep and installed the Ventilator. They worked on you for hours to try to stabilize you for the move to ICU.Your mom and I sat outside your room observing. Praying. Worrying.
By then it was too late. They moved you to ICU, but they could not stabilize you. Your lungs were not been working as they should. The finger oxygen detector said your oxygen level was good. When they did blood gases they found that your CO2 levels were way too high and the best medical care in the world could not save you. You went into multiple organ failure and your heart stopped beating 14 hours after that 5:30 am phone call Tuesday. If there is hell on earth, this is it.
Why did I not stop the chemo Friday? why did I not stop them from giving you so much fluid Monday to maintain blood pressure? fluids that eventually caused your lungs to fail and your co2 to go up causing the septic shock. we knew better. Kris was killed by a doctor that ordered higher fluid levels than necessary. if we had not had the unnecessary business stress would we have had our brains in gear?
How can you ever forgive me for failing you so badly?
How can I forgive myself? How can I forgive my former business partners? Certainly not in my own strength. Someone said that if God can forgive all human frailty, what right do I have to not forgive myself as God forgave me? Am I a judge more severe than God? What gives me the right to overrule His forgiveness? Intellectually that makes sense. I need to forgive myself. Maybe I have, maybe I do. But I will always regret that I failed you. That I allowed my business partners to control my agenda. I should have let the lawyers do that. They wanted to. Your mom told me to. But I wasn't thinking straight. So I allowed myself to be distracted.
You had shared your concern about your parents with Jane, the hospital chaplain. You were worried about us. Would we be able to take the loss of another child?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Vancouver depressing

Every corner and restaurant carries a memory of Renee and her bubbly enthusiasm. Oh the unrelenting pain!

Try to pick a grave marker. An inukshuk is a YWAM Canada symbol for
Journey
Path
Right track
Cummunity
Interdependence
A bench invites rest.
Inscriptions tell her story. Renee was (un)Common

The Renee Dueck Memorial YWAM Center is no more. Sold to the highest bidder

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Kristin Jason grave marker

Renee's Grave

Sure needs a marker. Hopefully we'll find an appropriate granite in Vancouver this week.

Adjust the Sails

We can not direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. - Morweena Church stage

Glen Plett Pastor.
Silage truck drivers drive the same dusty road day after day.
We ask? Why are we doing what we do?
The potato peeler is useless for changing a light bulb cutting an apple or most anything I'd like to use it for.
We live life and we do repetitive things hopefully with purpose.

Live with Purpose! The Purpose Driven Life. Thirty million copies have sold in 4 years.
Each day you cook feed the kids put them to bed.
More and more people want to be buried in un marked graves because they feel life was useless.
Eccl 2:1 Says: pleasures are meaningless, houses, gardens, parks, watering systems, gold, silver -he, hated them all because he'd have to leave them.
Ch 12- when we get old, desire is no longer stirred. All is useless.
Went to relative's funeral this week. Empty church. The family shared memories. Ben lived all his years running from God. In the last months he turned back to God. Lots of regrets.

All summer long I waited for the opportunity to take pictures of flowers. By last Sunday it was too late. They were faded.

Solomon was concerned about not enjoying life. Many of us live all our adult life wishing for something better.
We need to learn to live intentionally- enjoy life with purpose and meaning with what we have.

If you fix your neighbour's fence you may be the most fulfilled person in this community.

Excel in building gifts that build up others.

Think about why! why are you doing what you are doing.

Be blessed.

Dave- we will miss you

Your enthusiastic smile was such an encouragement. You truly demonstrated God's love in your life. Your parents will miss you with unrelenting pain. We weep with them.

Andre the football player

Andre led the scoring to win the game 57-7

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Things said in Secret (from Our Daily Bread)

Some say that anonymity is the last refuge for cowards. Judging from mail and comments I’ve read that have been submitted anonymously, I would agree. People hiding behind the screen of anonymity or a false identity feel the freedom to launch angry, hurtful tirades. Anonymity allows them to be unkind without having to take responsibility for their words.

Whenever I am tempted to write something anonymously because I don’t want to be identified with my own words, I stop and reconsider. If I don’t want my name attached to it, I probably shouldn’t be saying it. Then I do one of two things: I either toss it out or I rewrite it in a way that makes it helpful rather than hurtful.

According to Ephesians, our words should edify and impart grace (4:29). If I’m unwilling to use my name, there’s reason to believe that my motive is to hurt, not to help.

Whenever you’re tempted to say something in secret—perhaps to a family member, co-worker, or your pastor—consider why you don’t want your name to be identified with your words. After all, if you don’t want to be identified with your words, God probably doesn’t either. He is gracious and slow to anger (Ex. 34:6), and we should be the same. — Julie Ackerman Link

O Lord, help us to turn aside
From words that spring from selfish pride,
For You would have Your children one
In praise and love for Your dear Son. —D. De Haan

Anonymity can be a coward’s way of hiding behind hurtful words.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Ultimate Church Tour the 24/7 Community

Pastor Del
Community Travel
Ultimate Church Tour
Jerusalem is 3000 years old
Walked through the city for 18 hours, via de la Rosa, the wailing wall
Jesus desired the city to become the authentic Community
Acts 1:4-8 Start in Jerusalem.
A group was waiting for Jesus' power. Acts 2:42-47 Shared everything. Many being saved. A picture of the 1st Community

Drama what is my problem
Not Connecting
news channel does not help
I try to connect email twitter TV does not help.
the cacophony can be too much. We can't see or hear real friends

Hazards to 24/7 Community
1. Consumerism negates Community Acts 2:49
Help out lead a Care Group
2. Individualism feeds superficiality It take away your willingness to serve. All the believers shared.
3. Anonymity erodes accountability Always! All believers were DEVOTED. SOLD OUT! They spoke truth to each other. We need the spirit of community
4. Loneliness gives birth to apathy Acts 2:43
Solve the neighbors' kid's bike problem and community is born. It becomes an AWE experience.
Sin is the disconnect for God and others. Community is a journey No one is perfect. We all fail God's glorious standard. Of helping others.
Get plugged into a care group today.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Estonia

This is the 100 year old break water in Parnu, Estonia. I took the picture with my European cell phone and emailed it to the blog from the phone.
We are currently in Riga, Latvia, heading to Athens tomorrow. Then to Thessaloniki and maybe Macedonia before heading home. More pictures coming when we get some time to spend on the web.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Monday, August 10, 2009

Happy birthday, Justin!

26 years since you were born!
Son, as the years have passed, so many wishes have come true. Some have been our dreams some your dreams, and there are many dreams ahead of you that are yet to be.
On your birthday I just want to tell you how proud you've made me, and what a blessing you are.
And I hope you know not a day goes by that you're not thought about, prayed for, and loved. Happy Birthday from Mom & Dad

Sunday, August 09, 2009

A Perfect Evening

At harbourview golf. Just finished 9 holes. By now it is dark. Lost a few balls. This afternoon we went to Selkirk for the Memory Shine show of cars with proceeds to The Compassionate Friends. There were a lot of nice cars there.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Happy Birthday Jason

Our beautiful 2nd born son would be 31 today if the Toronto doctor who called himself the fountain of truth had given him prednisone after the transplant.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Jazz In The Park

The Ron Paley Big Band and a host of spectacular guest artists performed at The Lyric theatre. An absolutely perfect evening with friends Larry and Joanne!

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

The Musical Strike!

Dennis:
Please pass on my thanks to Manitoba Hydro President Bob Brennan, for the 3 front row seats at "The Musical Strike!" tonight. We arrived without tickets just before the show started, and the management gave us 3 of your Manitoba Hydro complimentary Sponsor tickets. Thank you very much.
We enjoyed the show.
Raymond Dueck
www.BiomassBEST.com

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Trip to Ontario

We went to Stratford and saw several shows. Wanted to visit Aunt Gertrude but she was not at home. Stayed at K&E for 2 nights. Went to church with them. Supper with Tomoko and cookie baking on Sunday. Monday visited Aunt Esther. She is in a Christian care home and seems to like it there. She was quite content.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Church Service Sunday in the Park

For all faiths or for none to worship Mother Earth the United Church way.

Beautiful Lady Taking Pictures

Saturday we spent the day hiking and reading. It was cold and windy all day. For supper we bought steak, corn, and onions for a delicious dinner on the deck. While the meal was cooking, Martha went down to our dock to take pictures of the beautiful sunset. Check her facebook in a few days to see the pictures.
It's a pleasure to be married to this beautiful young lady for 38 years.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

A Week of Hell

It started Monday morning in a meeting with my former partners and ended Thursday with an all day ''document discovery" in front of the arbitration judge. Monday was full of --descriptions deleted---. Thursday revealed lies and deceit. All in all, I wasted a week with unnecessary, unneeded, and unwanted emotional trauma.
Job said what I feel: my spirit is broken... the grave waits me... my eyes have grown dim with grief... my plans are shattered and so are the desires of my heart... how I long for times gone by when God watched over me when his friendship blessed my house... Renee was with me... God used my partners to throw me into the mud... I am reduced to dust and ashes... I cry out to God but he does not answer me. My heart is mourning and my pain is never ending. I exist in waves of overwhelming and unrelenting pain.
Why did I not perish at birth or die when I came from the womb? I have no peace no quietness I have no rest... Only turmoil. Oh that I might have my request... That God would crush me... Cut me off... This unrelenting pain could go away... Where is God? If I go to the east he is not there... west, I can't find him, north I do see him, south I catch no glimpse of him..
A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty

Friday, July 10, 2009

38 Years and still Young

For our 38th Anniversary we decided to go to the Cottage and on to Kenora for dinner!

Monday, July 06, 2009

Samantha And Friends

They performed at Sam's Place tonight. It's a used book store on Henderson highway sponsored by MCC
Martha volunteers once a week. They have a nice sandwich counter with gourmet food and coffees including espresso.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

The Book of Daniel

Dr Pierre Gilbert - EMC Convention - Riverton
No one has problems with cultural Christians.
Christians say Jesus is the only way. That's as annoying to some as a cloud of mosquitos on a quiet evening.
If a group of scientists discovered a cure for disease, would they be criminal if they did not share the discovery or would they be arrogant if they did?
We have the solution to the world's ill. We must share it. But not make ourselves a nuisance.
We sin by having too much wealth while we look for the simple life. Radical simplicity and radical Christianity are not the same thing.
Daniel got a full scholarship to SBC Samarian Babylonion College all expenses paid. He was a bit prima donna by refusing to eat the good food. He was catapulted to the top. Is this a simplistic approach? Be faithful and God will elevate you?
God could have done anything for the Jews. God never does on his own what he can do in partnership with us. God needed an administrator at the top to preserve the Jews to ensure that they survived as a nation.
They needed a corporate climber. The Purpose Driven Crisis created opportunity for advancement
God nudged his agenda forward by creating crisis opportunity to allow Daniel to climb the ladder of success. Daniel had to be prepared to embrace the complex life.
Lifestyle and elements of it are secondary in the discipliship equation. Mission needs to be the focus.
The Kruses were called to a simple lifestyle. Not to glorify it. But to glorify Christ.
We need bankers and businesses and farmers to glorify Christ. Look at the living God.
If Daniel had not heeded the call to the Complex life none of us would be here today. The difficult call.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Flowers on the Grave

We went to Riverton today to plant flowers on Renee's grave. One of them is "Endless Summer". The rest of them are annuals. I shed tears. No parent should EVER have to plant flowers on a child's grave. Now for enough rain to cause the flowers to grow in that hard soil.

In the evening we went to the EMC Conference for a delicious supper and to hear Dr Pierre Gilbert aka Peter Giesbrecht speak:

Man has a natural bent to pantheism and child sacrifices. Genesis tells us there is one God.
We either worship nature or we investigate nature. The Christian scientist finds ways of dealing with nature more efficiently.

What is the higher calling? Finding chemicals to fix illness or taking care of the sick? They are equal. The endless technological advances are improving our lives every day.

There is a sphere of action unique to the Christian to deal with sin. The evanglistic exercise belongs to the Christian. We must do this whether the state approves or not. Doing good is necessary but not a substitute for missionary activity.
YP- pay close attention to the skills God has given you. We need men and women in all spheres of society.
You are God's ambassadors wherever you are. Create ripples for eternity

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Life is a Highway - A Reliable GPS

Pastor Del - eastview.org

Using the internet, FLN broadcasts around the world live from the Winnipeg studios.
We live in a global Village where we connect electronically not face to face.

How do we build Community?
We need to learn to use God's Positioning System (GPS) - the Bible
Psalm 1 helps us make the right choices. It is The Beginning of the highway of life. Home base.
GPS set-up.
A. Informing - Blessed is the one who does not walk /stand /sit in the council of the wicked.
B. Uploading - day and night. Homebase uploading is to read the Psalms daily for the next 30 days
C. Destination to be less critical more loving, kind, considerate, unselfish, etc
D. Recalculating - the Lord watches over those who are perishing. To Un-slump yourself is not easily done. Dr Seus

Today I choose to follow you
Ps 139:1-6 Oh Lord you have searched me....

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Mom's concern of the day

I visited mom and dad this morning. Brenda was providing respite for the day. Rose and Gloria had gone to Prince Albert for the weekend. Doris came to stay with them for the rest of the time.
This clip is the line mom kept repeating over and over all morning. There was no way to distract her from it for hours. If we wanted to change the subject she felt we did not want to listen to her.
She felt she had failed to tell everyone that Jesus had died to save us and we should tell everyone. When I suggested that I video tape her and post the video on the net, so she could tell everyone the story, she was happy. But that did not stop her from ongoing repetitions.
Last night mom & dad didn't get much sleep. Mom had kept repeating a negative theme way into the night, repeating herself over and over. This is really hard on dad.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Thanks for the Shirt, Renee!

It's Father's Day again and I miss you. Thanks for the shirt you and Kara picked for me. I will wear it every Father's Day to remember your love!

First Things First

It is hard to be a father
Prov 4:23 Guard your heart Is the One thing God asks us to do.
Everything you do or are stems from your heart
What happens if your heart is not well.
Unguarded heart. General George Custer
The little big horn - Custer's last stand. They all died.
He made 3 Mistakes.
1. Self Serving agenda -he wanted to go to the White House
2. A Complacent heart. Caught off guard.
3. An-attended - "all about me" attitude.
Who gives the "more" and fills your tank?
John 10:10 Jesus promised that by faith in him we would have an Abundant life.
Heart checkup
1. Look under the hood
Is the ignition system working? Tuned? Find out what's wrong. Shut of the computer. Cell & e-mail. Can I sustain the pace?
When we are not dire to God we mistreat the ones we love.
2. Look in the mirror, look up. Who will sharpen you?
3. Look up Ps 139:3-4 Not just around. Do you need heart surgery?
Heart killer diagnosis
1. An unclear purpose
2. An unemployed talent
3. An unbalanced schedule
4. Unconfessed sin
5. Unresolved conflict
6. life style
9. Unsupported spirit take time w God
God gives beauty for ashes
Are you ready to receive that? Is Jesus the leader of your Camp?

Sunday, June 07, 2009

A Beautiful Evening

A walk in the neighbourhood

Dave & Elfrieda Loewen

50 years of marriage. 30 years at Camp Arnes. 2 years as directors of the Winnipeg nativity parade. 20 years in Russia with Kingdom Ventures.
Dave & Elfrieda have influenced so many people.
Words to describe the family:
Encouragement. Follow your interests. You Can. Grounded. Every day Principles. Trust. Focus on ministry. Eternal living - life with perspectives.
Rook is in the family.
Lifetime commitment to God, each other and the family. Celebrating Uniqueness. Dave the dreamer. Elfrieda the wings that make the dreams fly.
Celebrations of Joy!
Life is a precious gift and an awesome responsibility.
2001 Clinton had a serious accident in 2002 Elfrieda had cancer.
God has granted healing. And 50 wonderful years.
Hope for the future and a prayer of blessing. A life well lived.

Jessica's Gift

Here is a reading Renee did from New York for her grandma just before Christmas 2007 as her Christmas gift to grandma. Do you think Renee tried to say something to her parents and friends when she selected this particular story? Click here to listen to it.

Make sure you have your Kleenex handy. I wept a ton of tears when I listened to it the first time.

Pain

Why does the pain keep rolling in? When will it ever stop?

How are you? Still gets answered with "surviving" but sometimes I'm not sure that it is actually true.
Martha is reading a book written by a pastor that lost his 3 year old son, Jonathan. It took him through a lot of depression over several years while maintaining his role as pastor.
I might do a synopsis of that book when I get around to reading it. If I ever have enough energy for that.

I booked a flight to Vancouver for a YWAM meeting on the 18th because the 9th didn't work on account of the Arbitration with my former partners. Now they screwed up the arbitration schedule by refusing to submit the documents the judge ordered them to provide. And I really should be in Regina from the 16th to 20th for the farm show.

Why? Why? Why? is everything so messed up?

And I sold the motorhome for $7000 when it is easily worth close to $15,000 and we could use it from time to time for business and at the cottage. Why do I do those kinds of silly things?

Seizing the Grander Moment

Del Enns Eastview
Starbucks $4m investment became a $250m public company in 5 years.

Esther 4:13-14 Esther seized her moment and become willing to die. All of us must do the same. Esther was calm and collected. She calculated the cost. She put her life on the line. She understood the grandor moment.
This morning we have 8 Christ followers willing to cross the line. Be baptized or transfer membership to Eastview.
Jordon attended Christian School. Loves worship music. Grew up in Kamloops. MBCl since grade 8. Bible Classes had a huge impact. Working at Rousseau River had a further impact. Mark 8:36 Jesus is my refuge
Amy grew up in Eastview. MB Pioneer Camp. Have learned a lot about God there.
Even when you feel like giving up you need to keep going.
Baptism has been on my mind for a long time.
Josh became a Christian at age 3. Parents divorced. Mom got remarried to an abusive man. Found a friend at church. Went to Mexico with the church group. Worked at Pioneer Camp where he met Amy.
Josh MBCI gr 8-12 Eph 2:8 Gift of God.
My life has a foundation on Jesus. Follow Jesus in baptism

Amazing Grace. He has called me here below- he'll be forever mine.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Our Van Got Stolen Last Night- NOT

This morning Martha noticed the garage door open and the van gone. We reported it to the police and to Autopac. When Autopac asked who drove it last, I said I did. No- wait. Martha did. No she didn'd. We forgot the Van at the mall where I picked Martha up before going for dinner.
We went to Wasabi on Broadway.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Nice Way to Finish

Par 3 Golf at Harbor View

Doors Open 2

Doors Open

Kara Martha and I decided that this afternoon would be a good time to tour government house. The Manitoba Living History Society provided constume support

Building w God- Guarding your Time

www.eastview.org Pastor Delbert Enns
Chronos Greek consuming time
Kairos - what is time for?
Job 14:5 we have only so much time
Stop to find out what is missing Mark 1:35, 10:46-52
Jesus had to stop to talk to the Father and pray Jesus was never in a hurry
He stopped.
The busier we are the more useful we think we are.
Time- a patch of light. Acts 8:26-39 1 Peter 1:13
the Ethiopian is reading while rushing along. Phillip introduces him to Jesus and baptizes him. God choreographed the kairos moment
Occasionally God says stop and think. Let God re-arrange your agenda

Stop to think anew.
Rom 12:2 Gen 2:2-3
A beautiful mind. A nice video. John hears voices that hold him hostage. With the help of his wife he learns not to listen to those Voices.
God is more interested in what you think than in changing my circumstances

Think anew about
Down time- Sabbath- catch one's breath allowing God to breathe into us.
Sanctify time- Betrothed -set aside. Kairos moments
Live in Kairos time not chronos.

God has implanted eternity in us
Kairos time.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

Right is Right even if everyone is against it; Wrong is wrong even if everyone is for it.  Wm Penn

My New HTC Diamond

MTS has a new phone for $49 and a very good cell plan - unlimited MTS land or cell calling plus 350 minutes for $39

This new phone is a touch screen PDA, a camera, web browser, etc. So I used it to create some blogs with pictures etc, except that I posted them to my other blog page. Click here to see them.

Monday, May 11, 2009

3MOL PLAUT

Friday night we went to Steinbach for the low German Variety night "tom Plautdietch lache"

Saturday morning we went back to Steinbach for the delicious www.theLifeLight.com Brunch

Mother's Day celebration at Pantages for The Pirates of Penzance.

Memorial Stone

We have talked about so many options and have come to the conclusion that if someone in Vancouver knows of a favorite stone Renee had, or one that reminds you of Renee, please let us know. We'd like to get it shipped to Winnipeg and engraved by the good folks at Everlasting memorials. They tell us it should be a granite stone.
We are planning to be in Vancouver for the 18th of June and a few days thereafter. Perhaps we could decide on one then.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Renee Dueck Memorial Award

Ray,

I just wanted to let you know that we are again giving out the Renee Dueck Memorial Award to a first year film student who is courageous, creative , thoughtful, and "always there for you", expertise in photography is a bonus. The first years vote for the person that they think has these qualities, it is a peer award. Dani Eggen and Shannon Archibald, lead this process and will present the award on Thursday April 23rd at the first year screening.

all the best

Seanna

Seanna McPherson
Program Coordinator


Seanna:
Thank you so much for continuing to honour Renee's memory. We'd love to be there for the presentation, but it is not possible this year. Perhaps next.
We wish all the graduates well and in particular, the recipient of this year's award. Congratulations and all the best in the years to come. For more information check out www.ReneeDueck.com and www.MarthaDueck.com
Raymond & Martha & family

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Life is tough

Yesterday I met with Cameron. He lost his son at age 18 in a boating accident 6 years ago. Life has not been the same for him or his family since then. You just don't get over it, he says. I gave him a Renee Memorial card and a Living LifeLight NT.

Easter Sunday evening we went to Steinbach to visit Taunte Liz. During the day we had Justin and Alayna and Alayna's friends for Easter dinner of smoked turkey and other indulgent goodies.

Good Friday we had the Reimer Easter gathering at Martha's mom.

I spend a lot of time in Morris nowadays. Between that, the flood, and St Adolphe, sometimes I'm not sure where to turn.

Tonight Martha and I have tickets for the Gorden Lightfoot concert at the MTS Centre. That should be enjoyable. The other option was to go to Compassionate Friends.

Today is 30 years to the day our Jason died at Toronto's Sick Kids hospital. The Dr there who claimed to be "the fountain of truth" was not.

Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of my 39th birthday. I am looking forward to my friend Carlin coming for the weekend to spend time with us.

My mom's 85th birthday is on Monday. Hopefully we can go see her then.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

another week

Another week has come and gone.

Highlights:


Friend Selwyn came from Vancouver for meetings and he and I had a half hour to chat.
A new invention was unveiled this week and will be working hard next week. The picture is deliberately backlit, waiting patent registration.
We had more snow.
We are moving into the offices at 1555 Hwy 210 E, near St Adolphe. Come visit us there.

We have booked tickets to go to Halifax to help Kara move home. It will be so nice to have her back.
Yesterday we went to visit Martha's mom and took her for lunch to Hecla Resort. Stopped in to see Mrs Friesen in her new home at Dwight & Lorna's. For supper we went to my mom & dad & Rose. It sure is a blessing that Rose is willing to live with mom & dad, and help them so much. They are hoping to move into the new assisted living facility in Arborg by Fall. Alvin is waiting for final details approval so he can start.
Today we went to McIvor MB for the 9am service and to our church for the 11:15 service. After lunch I had a snooze, and then we took Justin out for Sushi "faspa" Alayna got her training today at the Niakwa Restaurant.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Renee Remembered

Sunday we went for lunch with Alayna (she's studying so hard).

Tim & Elsie came to visit. Tim and I went snowmobiling on the floodway, and scared 2000 Canada geese and 2 beavers.
After supper we watched "In America" a movie Renee and Martha watched in 05, and Renee insisted we buy.
Written and directed by the Irish family it features, it chronicals the journey of grief they went through and shows how the father of the family was finally able "say goodby to Frankie". That, I think, was Renee's message to me. Needless to say the tears poured again. "Slideshow"

A poem by Renee I found today:

The desert floor is cracked and dry
Pieces that once were whole
Now shattered
Every moment is a struggle
To not give up and die
Don’t lead to me to another oasis
I’m tired of going around in circles
The water that I find here
Only keeps me alive
Never enough to satisfy

My heart longs for a place
I’ve never seen
I know only the promises
You’ve whispered to me
Of a milk and honey land
And a well of living water
Don’t lead to me to another oasis
I’m tired of going around in circles
This thirsty ground is crying out
These cracked pieces want
to be made whole
Come flood this desert soul

Jan 4, 2005

Thursday, March 26, 2009

One Year One Month

I had not realized that I forgot my blogging for a month already. Thank you for being such faithful readers. I hope you forgive me.

Today is the 13th month since Renee's early departure. I miss her every day and tears come easily. Thanks to Morris staff for the beautiful flowers.

Last Sunday we spent the day at my parents, keeping them company. I do not understand why they get so few visitors, but I assume that most people think that shut ins are not interesting to visit. But they need it and appreciate it so much when people come over.

Mom's eyes can't read any more, and she has difficulty connecting, but she is her usual friendly self. She actually tells jokes occasionally. She is weak, needs a walker, has a tough time moving from a sitting position to a walking position, often needs help, but appreciates visitors so very much.

Sunday before that was Sunday XL at our church. After the 11 am service, the church serves lunch (Pizza this time), and then offers some 6 different classes including Intro to Eastview for people interested in membership. Pastor Del tells me that we might have 20 new members in the near future!

Martha and I attended Dr Konkel's class. He helped us see how much the New Testament is based on the Old and how the writers used OT scripture to explain to their contemporaries why Jesus was the Messiah and the coming King of the much of the OT. What did Jesus actually say to the disciples on the road to Emmaus? Probably more of less what the writers of the NT are saying to us. Jesus, God in human form, came down to earth to pay for our sins by dying for us, being raised to the right hand of God, so we may have hope for an eternal life in His glorious presence.

Renee's book is coming along nicely. I like what Emily is doing with it. It should be complete by May. Can we find a publisher? I'll post it online for friends to read as soon as it's available. Let me know if you are interested in reading it pre-publication.

I stumbled across a compilation of postings I put together one week after Renee's death. I sure appreciate all that her friends said about her.

We are still trying to decide what kind of memorial we should buy for Renee. How will we ever make that decision? Why are people charging so much for a rock?

Want to see something interesting? see Kara's Web from several years ago.

It's 3 am

That awful cat woke me up. I took the sleeping pill 'cause I have not been able to sleep well lately. Then the cat had to yell and scratch at the door at 3 am. I NEED my sleep!
I've been under a lot of pressure. With more than 100 bins in stock, we had no choice but to issue:
News release March 23, 2009

Vidir Morris announces temporary layoff

Executive Manager of Vidir Morris, Raymond Dueck, today announced a temporary layoff of 17 employees. “As with many of our counterparts, this economic environment is extremely challenging and has led to some tough business decisions in the short term”, said Dueck.

Vidir Morris continues to be committed to providing our customers the best value and service for their grain storage needs,” added Dueck. “We are an innovative group, always looking to provide unique and patented products to make life easier for our valued customers.”

For more information go to http://www.innovaat.com/ or http://www.v-bins.com/

Friday, February 27, 2009

Thursday Feb 26, 2009

One year ago we paced the hospital room watching Renee's heart monitor. Justin and Kyle sang for her.
Yesterday we were home. I started the day with breakfast with Ernie and Wayne. After lunch we had visitors including Ryan, Wayne and Essie, Myron, Joanne, and Gloria. Joanne played soothing music on our Fred Penner piano. Much appreciated! For supper we went to Renee's favorite restaurant Sukhothai and had her favorite dish - Pad Thai. After supper we watched "Alice in Wonderland" One of Renee's favorite movies. See her cities visited list on her facebook. See her movies list on her facebook. More Pictures

Tea Power

From the Reader's Digest 02/09
Drinking green tea may not only prevent cancer but it may also shrink tumours. U of Mississippi Medical Center researchers gave water mixed with green-tea antioxidant called "EGCG" to mice with breast cancer. After five weeks their tumours were 66% smaller and 68% lighter than were those in mice who drank water alone.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

One year ago today Renée wanted mom to make cabbage soup

One year ago today Renée wanted her mom to make cabbage soup. Mom was donating her bone marrow and so could not make the soup. Well, she made the soup today. Alayna, Kara, Martha, and I will enjoy it even if it is mixed with tears.