Click on the title to get a detailed explanation. 30 - 40 people read this blog every day. More than 50,000 people have visited this blog in the last 11.5 months when Renee helped me put the counter on this blog.
I am no preacher. I am not the fountain of wisdom.
So many people have tried to tell me not to blame myself for Renee's untimely death. It was her time to go. Her "ordained" day. I have a great deal of difficulty with that. Are you saying God made that drunk drive down the wrong way of a one-way street so that the 28-year-old lady would be killed? That our friend's son would go hang himself on a tree in the wilderness on the "ordained" day where it would take 6 years to find his body? Leona jumped off the bridge on the day that was "ordained" for her?
Not likely.
I was distracted and I will regret that for the rest of my life. I was not there for Renee when she needed me the most. It was not her time to go. She was too young and excited about life and what God would do through her.
I was at the AG show in Brandon yesterday. A number of people came up to me to express their sympathies. Thank you. I might get teary eyed when you do that, but I really appreciate when you let me know that you care. That you feel a little bit of my pain.
Renee's 11th month heavenday is coming up next week Monday. I fully believe the Bible to be God's Word to us, and that tells me that Renee is "in Paradise" with Jesus and the thief on the cross. When Paul said "to die is gain" he meant that he too would be in Paradise without delay.
In the meantime I'm "wasting" my days trying to keep busy building another business. Hoping that my brain will function well enough some day to invent some more stuff. Trying to find more people to join our teams. I should get some people to be on my "board of directors" / advisors. Whom should I ask? Would anyone want to help a reject like me?
Thanks for listening. I feel better?
Friday, January 23, 2009
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'PATIENCE' ALIAS 'SAVINGS'
ReplyDelete'ANGER' ALIAS 'LOOSINGS'
FIRE HEARTED PEOPLE WORK WITH FIRE!
IRON HEARTED PEOPLE WORK WITH IRON!
A SOUL OF A DEAD WILL REACH ITS SOURCE (GOD) FASTER WHEN ITS RELATIVES IN THE EARTH STOP REMEMBERING OR SHOWING LOVE AND AFFECTION ANYMORE ON IT.
- WISDOMS OF HUMAN KIND IN EARTH.
RAY, I PREFERS WORKING WITH YOU WHERE EVER I AM.
P.AUNAND
It would be easier to read your blog if you were not so intent on making yourself pay for your daughters death for the rest of your life. No God does not make anyone drive drunk but He did know that it was going to happen just as He knows when and how each one of our lives will end here on earth. Are you God that you should dictate when your daughter or anyone else should die? How dare you say it was not her time to die? And while we are on that note...how dare you call yourself a reject. You also are one of God's children are you not? Would God refer to you as a reject or a failure? I think not. Stop beating yourself up man and let your daughter rest in peace (I have to doubt that go-getter is resting up there!)
ReplyDeleteRay,I/we feel so much pain when you write. It's good to share feelings; both good and bad.
ReplyDeleteI agree with "anonymous" that you should not beat yourself up regarding Renee's passing. I don't think these are feelings the Good Shepherd wants you to focus on. I don't like the way "anonymous" throws "barbs" that come across as rather harsh. Have you been through something similar? In future comments you might try not hiding behind the "anonymous" title.
Ray and Martha, you continue to be in our prayers.
Bryan Dueck
my sentiments EXACTLY Bryan.
ReplyDeleteI felt so sad to read Ray's self-blaming admission (thanks for being honest - many cover grief with blankets of "strength") because we serve a God of Love & Compassion who HAS numbered our days. The evil in this world can keep His best Will from happening but for Ray to accept the responsibility of one of God's kids passing prematurely is not right. Ray, I know you prayed daily for God's Perfect Will to be done for Renee & for your family. Tho this pain you feel is unthinkable as "best" of anything, I beg you to keep trusting the God you have entrusted your own life & eternity on.
we pray
we care
we love you
Connie Dueck Harms
Thanks, Bryan and Connie. I love you too!
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that the fellow who accidentally shot and killed his hunting buddy is not going home smiling that God used him to dispatch his friend on the "appointed" day!
If we think we should just wait for the "appointed" day, why do we go to doctors and hospitals? Then we interfere with the "appointed" day, don't we?
Unrealistic thinking, or what?
ReplyDeleteDoes this sound "holier-than-thou"?
ReplyDeleteRay & Martha, you have to dwell on the fact that you did your best for Renee. Not everyone could have or would have sought out the best doctors and hospitals available to them, but you did that. You would have given your last bit of money, time and energy for your daughter and you need a big pat on the back for that!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think we will grasp the whole "appointed" time to go, or all the what-ifs until we get to heaven.
Dwell on the amazing years you had with your daughter and all the times you went out of your way to do the best for her. Your story is amazing.
Hi Ray,
ReplyDeleteI see a Perfect Father here. Howmuch love you have had on Renee that makes you blaming yourself after outplaying other universal faiths and beliefs.
I assess your story as follows:
Ray & Martha were given initially two boy children born and diseased. (We dont know what sin it is.)Then, there must have been a hard and serious praying to God. God heard the pray and decided to answer. HE sent a special child Renee (may be HIM SELF) to this couple as third one. This child showed God's blessings to its parents and entertained them for two decades. She/HE ensured or arrested further disease of children of this couple. She/HE also seriously involved in Missionay activities unlike a common girl. Once the original prayers of Ray & Matha were satisfied, God called off HIS special child Renee from this couple. There are proven history where God's special children passed away at young ages.
So, Ray and Martha are well blessed with God's offer in the form of Renee. Ray, you are not a reject. You should be happy about with spending your time and love to a God's special daughter ie. HIMself.
Your wellwisher