The Sparkle Queen's Awsome Home Page

Renee created several web sites in her early teens including The Sparkle Queen and The Butterfly's Paradise. It will take you an hour to read all her original poetry, and other things about herself. She wrote in html code long before I knew what that was. She had several email addresses and corresponded with a lot of people. I know she had another site that contained her other writings, but I have not yet found that page.

She also wrote the first LifeLight website.

Click on the above links - I'm sure you'll enjoy them.

Nothing more to say

Today it is 1 year since we traveled to Vancouver after confirmation of the leukemia relapse diagnosis, and 8 months since the day Renee died. One year ago Renee wrote in her diary, "There is nothing more to say"
--
Raymond & Martha Dueck
http://www.marthadueck.com/ http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=718265973
http://www.reneedueck.com/ http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747310337
http://www.raymonddueck.com/ http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=678938831

New York City AGAIN!

Why do we keep doing that to ourselves? It seems we could not drive past New York without going into that wonderful city again. Guess what we did first? We went to Renee's favorite restaurant. Did we meet Renee there? Maybe? But we did NOT see her. The seat she sat in is empty.

Then we met with Trinity asst Pastor James Leonard for coffee, and then with Dr O'Reilley and then with Chaplain Jane Mather. They were all so good to talk to. So healing.

After that we went to Central Park for photo therapy and supper at The Boathouse Restaurant. Then off to PHL to catch the morning flight. When we got to MSP, NWA put us on this prop job and 2/3 of the way to GFK they decided they needed to turn around and take us all back to MSP just because a little light in the cockpit was ON! We got home at 10pm.

Now it's back to work!

Halifax and Cape Breton Island

We finally arrived in Halifax. So good to see and spend time with Kara again. I had missed her so!

We went to the park close to her place and then drove to Fortress Louisburg, the largest historic reconstruction in North America. When the British conquored the fort they hired demolition experts to blow up miles of fortified walls and 100s of buildings, to make sure the French would never again rebuild it. In the 60s the Cndn gov't decided to spend megamillions rebuilding 1/6 of it. So a few people would come and admire the rebuilding job.

Cape Breton is the world's premier Celtic region, and they had their concluding concert featuring Rita McNeil on Saturday. We tried to get tickets, but they were VERY sold out. So we had a nice meal instead. Sunday we drove to a small start up church in Glace Bay for the service and saw the Marconi historic site before heading back to Halifax. Our final supper with Kara was at Thai restaurant. Renee was there in spirit.

Seek First the Kingdom

Glace Bay Lighthouse Church.
Silence is hard. It is easier to work than to trust God.
A man found a treasure, buried it, and bought the field. So he could own the treasure. He did not steal it.
Some people say I know for sure that there is no God. Others say I know everything about God. Both are arrogant.
The man bought the whole field because he thought the whole field is full of the treasures of God. That's how we should be. Open your Bible and discover God's field of treasures.

RI Narringasett, MA Hyannis

From NJ we headed out to RI and visited 3 of 4 locations Renee's FaceBook shows as places she has been to. I wish I knew exactly where she was. On the beach at Narringasett, they are building a memorial circle, and anyone can place engraved bricks into the circle. What should this one say?
Renee Dueck
1984-2008
TheWaveUSA
YWAM Tour 05
That might work. Max 2 lines 11 characters per line.

Today we retraced more of Renee's trip, and had lunch in Hyannis, Mass, and stopped in Plymouth and Boston. Click here for more pics.
We went to Acapulcos Mexican restaurant with Robert, Maria, & Patrick. So good to see them again. They went to the SCIDS conference in Wintergreen Virginia. Twas a good experience for them. I showed them how to start blogging. http://www.agitfamily.blogspot.com/ should find them.

Tomorrow we'd like to get to Halifax. kinda tired of moving in and out of hotels every day. The Sheraton we are in charges extra for internet in the room, so I'm sitting in the lobby because it's free here!

Monday - Canadian Thanksgiving

We got invited to a Canadian Thanksgiving meal with our long time email friend Marleen and her husband in West Milford. This is truly beautiful country. See more pics here.

Silent Grief

I'm sitting under the trees at this table blogging and doing emails during a break in this great conference. About a dozen people from around the U.S and this one couple from Canada. We are learning that it is OK to be raw. To say things similar to what King David said to and about God when you go through agony, pain, and grief.

After this is done we plan to drive to Halifax, visiting frinds along the way in NJ and NY and Boston. The aim is to celebrate thanksgiving with Karalee next Sunday. We plan to be home on the 22nd.

This leaf landed in a hard place. More Pictures here

Martha's pictures are better than mine.. click here

Root Canal

I called this morning and asked for an appointment. They fit me in at 12:15 with Dr Brant Toy. I was afraid of the pain. But Dr Toy is very skilled and the only time I felt a teeny bit of pain, was when he started to scrape the nerves out of the root canal. As soon as he noticed me tensing up, he injected freezing right into the canal and there was NO MORE pain. It took about one hour. An hour after the procedure, the freezing was out, and again no more pain. These people really do their best to make an unpleasant situation as pleasant as possible. They have soft lighting and soft music. Everything is so nice, it is easy to relax. So next time you need a root canal, I invite you to enjoy it!

A Grief Observed

by C. S. Lewis
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear... At other times like being drunk or concussed. there is sort of an invisible blanket between me and the world. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting... no one told me about the laziness of grief... I loathe the slightest effort. Not only writing, but even reading is too much. Even shaving... what does it matter how I look...
Meanwhile where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms... when you are happy... you feel welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate... what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and the sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside... after that, silence.
Is God a clown who whips away your bowl of soup one moment to replace it with another the next?

desiderata

desiderata - by max ehrmann

Pat Boone did a very nice version of this. Does anyone have a link to that?

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

Thanks for the visit

Gil and Andrea came for the weekend from Blind River, to grace us with their love and care. They are traveling to Calgary to visit their daughters and stayed with us for 2 nights. They are a retired pastor couple that we have learned to love during their brief stay. They were the 3rd couple to stay with us as a result of finding our names in Mennonite Your Way. This is the 1st year (in more than 10 years) we have had any response from the listing!
We spent Saturday with them on the Prairie Dog Central. That was fun! The trip included a visit to Oak Hammock Marsh.

From Guideposts

Prayer doesn't work. God works. And God works when people pray. - from the book "Six Prayers God Always Answers"

Quotes

"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly" Buckminster Fuller

Renee's Book

Well - she is finally here! http://www.EmilyWierenga.com/ is here to write Renee's story. It is going to be hard to re-live through all the pain and agony of Renee's passing. Renee wanted to impact the world and mobilize the church through the arts. How can a book do that? We don't know. Pray for us and Emily. Are we doing the right thing? Who knows?

Today was LifeLight Golf day. About a hundred golfers got together to golf for BiblesForToday! The weather was perfect and we raised funds and awareness to impact the world around us.

I'm looking for an Executive Assistant to help me organize my life. Several very good applicant are hoping to be selected. May God give me wisdom to choose the right one!

We are praying for Earl and Ramona. Please pray with us for them.

SLC Utah

On the way to the airport yesterday, I called my parents and told them we were heading to Utah. Where? dad wanted to know. Salt Lake City. Well, Bernie and Caroline are there. Gloria will send the info. I sent a text to Bernie and we agreed to meet for supper at 6pm. WOW! Bernie and Caroline were there to visit Katie and they did not know we would be there and we did not know they had gone there. So here we are at supper at Ruth's Chris Steak House in SLC!

Tonite we dine with the Bride and her family. Renee's friend Jacqui is getting married to Stuart tomorrow!

Martha is reading The Shack and I'm reading Playing for Pizza. Eventually we hope to drive around and see some of the sights, but we are here till Wednesday.

6 months TODAY

We thought about sending an email to our list, but then - y0u probably get too many anyway, and I have nothing new to say. I'd love to have more emails from you though.

Kara has enrolled at Dalhausie University in Halifax and we are planning to fly out on Thursday. Alayna went to Greece and is coming back early - Thursday afternoon - but not on time to see Kara off at the airport. Justin is working at Subway on Corydon Ave.

Martha shared on her blog of the agony and pain that is still a daily companion. I spoke to someone who said that the new normal might set in soon. That got me thinking - I'd rather lose 2 arms and 2 legs than a daughter. The pain of that loss would go with me for the rest of my life. How much more pain is in the loss of a daughter and friend.

After Halifax we go to Salt Lake City for Renee's friend Jacqui's wedding. Back in Winnipeg for a while and Toronto for some business, then to PA for October 10 - 12, 2008 for a SilentGrief conference.

At the same time I am trying to find an Executive Assistant that can help me set up the new R&D shop for Innovaat at St Adolphe, purchase property, I need to renovate/upgrade the property, finish the development of the Biomass Energy System, check up in Morris, and Steinbach once a week, write blogs.....

Thanks, Mark, for that box of books on grieving. They look like they could have a very positive impact. I just need to find out if my brain works well enough actually read a book from cover to cover.

FAITHFULNESS - Fruit that is never out of season

Pastor - Delbert Enns
Eastview

Give honour to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Heb 13:4
How to remain faithful...

1. Make a commitment to God's Standard
How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word. Ps 119:9 Drink water from your own well - share your love only with your wife. Prov 5:15 - no sex outside of marriage

2. Magnify the consequences of your affair.
A man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. Pr0v 6:22 Sexual sin = emotional damage.
...Sleeping with another man's wife will cost you your life. Prov 6:22 You always pay the piper.
It is never too late to ask God and the ones you have sinned against for forgiveness.

3. Maintain your marriage. Say "I loveYou" often.
A man should fulfil his duty as a husband, a wife should fulfil her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs. 1 Cor 7:3
Read the book "His Needs- Her Needs" by Willard Harley
The 5 top needs for men:
1. Sexual Fulfilment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Men need admiration
The 5 top needs for women:
1. Affection, hugs, kisses
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Support
5. Family Commitment
These lists are not even parallel.

4. Manage, guard your mind
Temptations come from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. James 1:14
Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead persue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. 2 Tim 2:22
Read Scripture everyday. Fill your mind with positive things. Surrender all to God. Confess your sins Ps 51:1-4
The pathway to purity:
1. Acknowledge sin
2. End the sinful relationship immediately
3. Avaid all contact with that person from now on.

1 Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.

Folklorama Time

Alayna is once again dancing with the Ukranians.

Justin is 1/4 century old!

We celebrated on the River Rouge! They had spent $1,000,000 to refurbish her. Click here for more pictures