Loss History

Today's email from http://www.griefshare.org/ encourages us to write a loss history.
1977 Oct 01 - Kristin died age 3
1978 Jun 30 - Leona died age 29
1979 Apr 16 - Jason died age 9 months
1990 Dueck Builder Mart receivership
1995 sold ProfitMaster Canada shares for peanuts
2005 Jun 24 - Renee diagnosed with leukemia
2005 Sep 04 - Renee in ICU
2007 June - business partners start talking about splitting the business
2007 Oct 24 - Renee relapse
2007 Nov 01 - Renee starts chemo at MSKCC New York
2007 Nov 12 - vitriolic emails from partners
2007 Nov 20 - agreement for me to buy out partners
2007 Nov 23 - partners away to meet with their advisors. Assure me I don't need a lawyer. All is amicable.
2007 Nov 26 - meeting with advisors - partners not sure they want to sell their shares
2007 Nov 28 - meeting - assurance by partners "not meeting with outside lawyers"
2007 Dec 20 - receive 100 page email while in Florida with Alayna, and Karalee (Renee, Martha stuck in NYC, Justin in Wpg). The email is drafted by powerful antagonistic outside lawyers and includes documents signed by my partners and their wives, giving me 5 business days to raise funds to buy out some of their shares, or they will kick me out and steal my shares under an obscure clause in the Shareholders Agreement. I have no lawyer to act on my behalf. I call a lawyer friend, who agrees to take my case. I tell him I'm in shock, 1st from Renee's potentially fatal illness, and the shock of seeing the signed documents from my partners, threatening to steal my shares in the business, we had worked so hard to build for 11 years.
Martha advised me to "just let them steal the business", and be with Renee and her in NYC as much as possible. The lawyers recommended that I allow them to "protect" my interests.
2008 Jan 10 - I tried to get my partners to agree to let http://www.familybusinessdoctor.ca/ negotiate an amicable deal. That was a no go with them. "There is a well proscribed process underway to reach closure – it just needs to be followed" I met with my lawyer for the 1st time and told him that I'm in no position to fight this in the courts, and the ONLY thing I can do under the circumstances is to capitulate. "I might be sorry later"

This is too painful to continue today - more more painful stuff later.

God, I didn't realize how much my past losses were affecting me now. Use this exercise to help me recognize and come to terms with each loss on my list. Amen.