desiderata

desiderata - by max ehrmann

Pat Boone did a very nice version of this. Does anyone have a link to that?

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

Thanks for the visit

Gil and Andrea came for the weekend from Blind River, to grace us with their love and care. They are traveling to Calgary to visit their daughters and stayed with us for 2 nights. They are a retired pastor couple that we have learned to love during their brief stay. They were the 3rd couple to stay with us as a result of finding our names in Mennonite Your Way. This is the 1st year (in more than 10 years) we have had any response from the listing!
We spent Saturday with them on the Prairie Dog Central. That was fun! The trip included a visit to Oak Hammock Marsh.

From Guideposts

Prayer doesn't work. God works. And God works when people pray. - from the book "Six Prayers God Always Answers"

Quotes

"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly" Buckminster Fuller

Renee's Book

Well - she is finally here! http://www.EmilyWierenga.com/ is here to write Renee's story. It is going to be hard to re-live through all the pain and agony of Renee's passing. Renee wanted to impact the world and mobilize the church through the arts. How can a book do that? We don't know. Pray for us and Emily. Are we doing the right thing? Who knows?

Today was LifeLight Golf day. About a hundred golfers got together to golf for BiblesForToday! The weather was perfect and we raised funds and awareness to impact the world around us.

I'm looking for an Executive Assistant to help me organize my life. Several very good applicant are hoping to be selected. May God give me wisdom to choose the right one!

We are praying for Earl and Ramona. Please pray with us for them.

SLC Utah

On the way to the airport yesterday, I called my parents and told them we were heading to Utah. Where? dad wanted to know. Salt Lake City. Well, Bernie and Caroline are there. Gloria will send the info. I sent a text to Bernie and we agreed to meet for supper at 6pm. WOW! Bernie and Caroline were there to visit Katie and they did not know we would be there and we did not know they had gone there. So here we are at supper at Ruth's Chris Steak House in SLC!

Tonite we dine with the Bride and her family. Renee's friend Jacqui is getting married to Stuart tomorrow!

Martha is reading The Shack and I'm reading Playing for Pizza. Eventually we hope to drive around and see some of the sights, but we are here till Wednesday.

6 months TODAY

We thought about sending an email to our list, but then - y0u probably get too many anyway, and I have nothing new to say. I'd love to have more emails from you though.

Kara has enrolled at Dalhausie University in Halifax and we are planning to fly out on Thursday. Alayna went to Greece and is coming back early - Thursday afternoon - but not on time to see Kara off at the airport. Justin is working at Subway on Corydon Ave.

Martha shared on her blog of the agony and pain that is still a daily companion. I spoke to someone who said that the new normal might set in soon. That got me thinking - I'd rather lose 2 arms and 2 legs than a daughter. The pain of that loss would go with me for the rest of my life. How much more pain is in the loss of a daughter and friend.

After Halifax we go to Salt Lake City for Renee's friend Jacqui's wedding. Back in Winnipeg for a while and Toronto for some business, then to PA for October 10 - 12, 2008 for a SilentGrief conference.

At the same time I am trying to find an Executive Assistant that can help me set up the new R&D shop for Innovaat at St Adolphe, purchase property, I need to renovate/upgrade the property, finish the development of the Biomass Energy System, check up in Morris, and Steinbach once a week, write blogs.....

Thanks, Mark, for that box of books on grieving. They look like they could have a very positive impact. I just need to find out if my brain works well enough actually read a book from cover to cover.

FAITHFULNESS - Fruit that is never out of season

Pastor - Delbert Enns
Eastview

Give honour to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Heb 13:4
How to remain faithful...

1. Make a commitment to God's Standard
How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word. Ps 119:9 Drink water from your own well - share your love only with your wife. Prov 5:15 - no sex outside of marriage

2. Magnify the consequences of your affair.
A man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. Pr0v 6:22 Sexual sin = emotional damage.
...Sleeping with another man's wife will cost you your life. Prov 6:22 You always pay the piper.
It is never too late to ask God and the ones you have sinned against for forgiveness.

3. Maintain your marriage. Say "I loveYou" often.
A man should fulfil his duty as a husband, a wife should fulfil her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs. 1 Cor 7:3
Read the book "His Needs- Her Needs" by Willard Harley
The 5 top needs for men:
1. Sexual Fulfilment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Men need admiration
The 5 top needs for women:
1. Affection, hugs, kisses
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Support
5. Family Commitment
These lists are not even parallel.

4. Manage, guard your mind
Temptations come from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. James 1:14
Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead persue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. 2 Tim 2:22
Read Scripture everyday. Fill your mind with positive things. Surrender all to God. Confess your sins Ps 51:1-4
The pathway to purity:
1. Acknowledge sin
2. End the sinful relationship immediately
3. Avaid all contact with that person from now on.

1 Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.

Folklorama Time

Alayna is once again dancing with the Ukranians.

Justin is 1/4 century old!

We celebrated on the River Rouge! They had spent $1,000,000 to refurbish her. Click here for more pictures

Happy Birthday, Jason!

If you were still with us, you'd be 30 years old today! Who knows what you'd be doing? Married with kids, working to put bread on the table, perhaps inventing all kinds of new things already, or would you be a missionary to Cambodia, China, Africa?
But those dreams were dashed 9 months after you were born. Instead, you are dancing a jig with your wonderful sister, Renee, and older brother Kris.
Your parents are left to mourn the whatifs.

Good news

Caleb Dueck didn't expect his picture to be chosen as a finalist in .... Click here

Katelyn in the Free Press

Woman's promising life cut short

Katelyn Friesen wore a long, princess-like silk gown with pink flowers in her hair and smiled brightly in a family photo taken after her Grade 12 graduation last month.
The photo was posted in an album Friesen named Here Comes the Rest of Our Lives on the networking-site Facebook.... Read More

Another story

We are home safe and sound. The Free Press carried another story in which Renee was mentioned.
Today was Roger's birthday. Not a happy one.
We had dinner with Roger, Anita, and Katelyn 2 weeks ago at a nice restaurant on Corydon. Kara and Katelyn sat at a table by themselves, happily chatting as only young ladies can. I wish I had taken a picture. Memo to self: Take more pictures.
This morning we got up early, and drove 220km from Stratford to Barrie to attend church with Kelvin and Esther. Then they invited us to their home for a quick lunch, and then off to the airport - one hour away. When we got out of the car, I forgot my cell phone in the Jeep. By the time I noticed it was missing, the Jeep had been taken for servicing. They found the phone just in time for me to get it, before we had to scurry off to security. Talk about the hurrier I go the behinder I get!
When we got to Winnipeg, there was a message from Loni, telling us that her grandfather had fallen and broken his neck. He had survived the night. I tried calling back to her and Tim & Elsie, but there was no answer. Pray for that family!

Pain and Death

Friday morning Kara's dear friend Katelyn died when her car failed to negotiate a turn in the road. Please pray for her family and loved ones. Her parents are among our best friends. Her funeral is scheduled for Wednesday in Riverton. This is the 3rd trauma for them in the last 3 months.
We are in Ontario and had planned to travel as far as Quebec. We will be returning home Sunday night.
Today it is 5 months since Renee died. We are in Stratford at the Shakespeare Festival. We spent a weekend here with Renee in June '05, 10days before her first disgnosis for AML leukemia.
The pain of searing loss still hits us with giant waves. On Thursday, a week ago, we attended a meeting of Compassionate Friends. It is a support group for parents that have lost children. It is good to be able to share the pain with others without fear of judgement.

This day SUCKS

Katelyn Friesen, 18, one of Kara's best friends died this morning. She came home at 10:30 p.m. and lost control of her car.
Her parents, Roger and Anita, are among our closest friends. We'd love to go hug them. But we are in Stratford ON on the way to Quebec. Naturally, will try to rebook our flight and get home ASAP.
We were just coming into Aylmer to visit Taunti Truta, my mom's sister, when we got the call. While we were there, Uncle Isaac was transferred to hospital, comatose and with a lung infection. He has lived a long and fruitful life. My sister Rose showed up before we left. She came to stay there for a week.
Yesterday we visited Aunt Esther in hospital. She was happy to see us, and very thankful for all her wonderful friends. They take turns at her bedside so she is almost never alone.
For super we took Tomoko out to the Aberfoyle Mill Country Restaurant. Very nice and very enjoyable!
Last night we stayed with a Mennonite Your Way couple. We were the 1st visitors they had had since they signed up for it.
Tonight we attended the production of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.

Loss History

Today's email from http://www.griefshare.org/ encourages us to write a loss history.
1977 Oct 01 - Kristin died age 3
1978 Jun 30 - Leona died age 29
1979 Apr 16 - Jason died age 9 months
1990 Dueck Builder Mart receivership
1995 sold ProfitMaster Canada shares for peanuts
2005 Jun 24 - Renee diagnosed with leukemia
2005 Sep 04 - Renee in ICU
2007 June - business partners start talking about splitting the business
2007 Oct 24 - Renee relapse
2007 Nov 01 - Renee starts chemo at MSKCC New York
2007 Nov 12 - vitriolic emails from partners
2007 Nov 20 - agreement for me to buy out partners
2007 Nov 23 - partners away to meet with their advisors. Assure me I don't need a lawyer. All is amicable.
2007 Nov 26 - meeting with advisors - partners not sure they want to sell their shares
2007 Nov 28 - meeting - assurance by partners "not meeting with outside lawyers"
2007 Dec 20 - receive 100 page email while in Florida with Alayna, and Karalee (Renee, Martha stuck in NYC, Justin in Wpg). The email is drafted by powerful antagonistic outside lawyers and includes documents signed by my partners and their wives, giving me 5 business days to raise funds to buy out some of their shares, or they will kick me out and steal my shares under an obscure clause in the Shareholders Agreement. I have no lawyer to act on my behalf. I call a lawyer friend, who agrees to take my case. I tell him I'm in shock, 1st from Renee's potentially fatal illness, and the shock of seeing the signed documents from my partners, threatening to steal my shares in the business, we had worked so hard to build for 11 years.
Martha advised me to "just let them steal the business", and be with Renee and her in NYC as much as possible. The lawyers recommended that I allow them to "protect" my interests.
2008 Jan 10 - I tried to get my partners to agree to let http://www.familybusinessdoctor.ca/ negotiate an amicable deal. That was a no go with them. "There is a well proscribed process underway to reach closure – it just needs to be followed" I met with my lawyer for the 1st time and told him that I'm in no position to fight this in the courts, and the ONLY thing I can do under the circumstances is to capitulate. "I might be sorry later"

This is too painful to continue today - more more painful stuff later.

God, I didn't realize how much my past losses were affecting me now. Use this exercise to help me recognize and come to terms with each loss on my list. Amen.

Happiness

Some pursue happiness.. others create it
Happiness increases the more you spread it around
What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. - Joseph Addison
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows. - Helen Keller
Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves. - James Barrie
Imitate the sundial's ways - Count only the pleasant days. - German Proverb

Scatter Joy

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. Mother Teresa
Time spent laughing is time spent with God.
One joy scatters a hundred griefs.
If you tickle yourself, you can laugh when you like.
Unshared joy is an unlighted candle.
And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.

37 years together

It seems like such a short time ago.
My mother-in-law said she had never seen anyone as excited as this bridegroom was on the morning before the wedding of these 2 virgins. I'm still excited to be with my LOVE!

Henry advised us that "the ship that won't be sunk, can't be sunk"