Agony, Fear, Hope, Peace

This video may be the most gripping video you have ever seen. Renee shares her fear, her dread of the diagnosis of leukemia, with symbolic, dramatic shots of what it may mean. Her feet, dedicated to sharing the gospel of peace are showing signs of infection, her bed - empty - a prophesy of what she knows is coming, her calendar - a month late, a month since she felt she knew what the diagnosis was, a symbol of how time on earth is slipping away, her calendar has stopped. The video ends with a shot of the tattoo on her ankle, the symbol of the word hope in the language of Cambodia, the people who experienced the Killing Fields. Renee had the hope of eternal life, and hope that others would respond to her passion for the poor and oppressed, and pick up where she left off. The hope that someday she would be re-united for eternity with all her friends and family in the presence of Jesus Christ, the One she loved, and lived for.

After 3 months of agonizing about whether or not to post this video, I have come to the conclusion that Renee recorded it, because she wanted to share her feelings with us. She also wanted to say something about the hope she had. In spite of the fear she says she has hope. She knew she had a 20% chance of surviving this relapse of leukemia, 80% chance that this would be her last statement to us. If you need a good cry, click Here.