Today it is 1 year since we traveled to Vancouver after confirmation of the leukemia relapse diagnosis, and 8 months since the day Renee died. One year ago Renee wrote in her diary, "There is nothing more to say"
Why do we keep doing that to ourselves? It seems we could not drive past New York without going into that wonderful city again. Guess what we did first? We went to Renee's favorite restaurant. Did we meet Renee there? Maybe? But we did NOT see her. The seat she sat in is empty.
We finally arrived in Halifax. So good to see and spend time with Kara again. I had missed her so!
From NJ we headed out to RI and visited 3 of 4 locations Renee's FaceBook shows as places she has been to. I wish I knew exactly where she was. On the beach at Narringasett, they are building a memorial circle, and anyone can place engraved bricks into the circle. What should this one say?
and stopped in Plymouth and Boston. Click here for more pics. 
We got invited to a Canadian Thanksgiving meal with our long time email friend Marleen and her husband in West Milford. This is truly beautiful country. See more pics here.
I'm sitting under the trees at this table blogging and doing emails during a break in this great conference. About a dozen people from around the U.S and this one couple from Canada. We are learning that it is OK to be raw. To say things similar to what King David said to and about God when you go through agony, pain, and grief. 
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann c.1920
Gil and Andrea came for the weekend from Blind River, to grace us with their love and care. They are traveling to Calgary to visit their daughters and stayed with us for 2 nights. They are a retired pastor couple that we have learned to love during their brief stay. They were the 3rd couple to stay with us as a result of finding our names in Mennonite Your Way. This is the 1st year (in more than 10 years) we have had any response from the listing! 
Well - she is finally here! http://www.EmilyWierenga.com/ is here to write Renee's story. It is going to be hard to re-live through all the pain and agony of Renee's passing. Renee wanted to impact the world and mobilize the church through the arts. How can a book do that? We don't know. Pray for us and Emily. Are we doing the right thing? Who knows?
On the way to the airport yesterday, I called my parents and told them we were heading to Utah. Where? dad wanted to know. Salt Lake City. Well, Bernie and Caroline are there. Gloria will send the info. I sent a text to Bernie and we agreed to meet for supper at 6pm. WOW! Bernie and Caroline were there to visit Katie and they did not know we would be there and we did not know they had gone there. So here we are at supper at Ruth's Chris Steak House in SLC!
