Tuesday, April 08, 2008


I wrote a blog last night, but then it disappeared when I was ready to post it. I had trouble falling asleep because my brain kept spinning over the what-ifs. What if I had not been so distracted by the forced buy/sell my partners foisted on me during the time Renee needed my full attention. If I had demanded that scan on Friday, and a change of protocol would that have kept her from dying? Probably. Why did I not stand up for my beloved Renee when she needed me?
I asked Dr O'Reiley that question. He said the guilt parents place on themselves is untenable. "you did the best you could" and it's the doctors that need to ask themselves what they missed.
To get some sleep I took a sleep aid. Does that kind of sleep count?
We are in Boston today to see some of the sights and to visit our friends from the time of Karalee's transplant 18 years ago.

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